Have you ever wondered about “Life”


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Have you ever wondered about life?  I do all the time, who am I really? Where do I fit in with “Life” or am I just a bystander observing it happening all around me, wanting ot participate but not knowing how.  These questions can’t be answered clarly without looking within and knowing self.  It seems to me that over the years we develop without realizing and lose sight of who we are as a being.  We need to revisit ourselves in order to get to know this person, who you are, again.  Who in all honesty can put their hands up and say they know who they really are, without the introspection?

Life is a journey, a journey which we never know where or when the end is, we neer know if we are on the right road even to get to this unknown place, we never know if we have all the resources to continue this journey to the end, or eve if we will recognise when we get there that we have arrived!  We never know if we should pick up hitchikers along the way, we never know if we need to rely on someone else for help on the journey because we have “had a breakdown”.  It seems to be a lack of control is required to take this journey and a whole lot of faith that we will make it to where we are going.

Some will get lost on the journey and go around in circles oblivious to what is happening.  Some will make a choice on which path to take that will lead them into alife which they are unprepared for, some will seem to know in their heart which way to go and find themselves enjoying the journey.  some will be so focused on getting to the end of the joureny that they fail to experience the actual journey.  Some have high expectations on what to expect and are disapponted with their journey.

Which one are you?  Do you think we can change along the joyrney to help things along?  Yes I believe so but only once we know ourselves and then we can make a decision that we know is right for us.  it resonates in the mind, the heart and the soul.

the mind analysis the information and comes to a logical decision.  It makes sense to your mind.  the heart comes to an emotional decision.  It feels right in your heart.  The soul is wise and sees past the logic and the emotional to the furture growth of itself.  Do you think this is the: me, myself and I concept that is bandied around?

so how do you suppose we approach these areas to get our answer?  The easiest one ot start with is the mind.  We use it everyday and therefore it is the one we are most familiar with.  We just haven’t asked it the right questions in a long time.  Write down the questions you have in relation to your journey.  Get to know your mind and how it works for you.  You need to be still and most importantly to listen.  Really listen to what your mind has to say, probe it, examine it, and see how you feel about what it has to say.  Does it resonate in your heart and soul?  If the answer is yea you are on the right track.

How you feel, already the heart is getting involved in your questt.  The emotional part of you is opening up when you question your mind.  How do you feel about this?  so the logic and emotional are entwined.  The sould?  Ah the hardest and yet probably the simplest one to know.  We chose I believe to go through life ignoring this part of us.  Patiently it waits for us to nbitice it.  There is no anger, no frustration, just a patience knowing that the right time will come and it needs to be prepared for its answers.  When you are ready for the soul, it has been ready for you your whole life. It answers your qustions patiently and the answers fill your body,mind and heart and yes beyond to the encompass your whole life.

Are you ready?  The soul is larger than you, it expands ever outwards with you as the epicenter around which it revolves.  Its energy reaches out and affets othes on their own journeys, some stop and exchange learnin with you, others continue busily on their journey no time to stop.  All make a change to you and your journey.

Getting to you know yourself, allows you to see your journey, have you make a wrong turn and want to get back to a direction that feels like the right way?  Now the going can get tough, you might have changed on the inside but that doesn’t mean your life has changed elsewhere, are you prepared to amke the changes that need to be made.  People will be hurt, friends will be lost, lifestyle will change.  Is it worth it?  Maybe the question is can you continue to live this life without being true to yourself?

I wrote this a few years ago now, when I was struggling emotionally.  I tend to overanalyse everything I do to such a point that I end up doing nothing!  Have I taken life too seriously, how do you see “life” as?Image


Unknown Chance


Daily Prompt
Take a Chance on Me What’s the biggest chance you ever took? Did it work out? Do tell!

When I read the daily prompt I immediately thought, what can I write I have never taken a chance.  Thinking a bit more about it
I realised that isn’t chance a choice?  Each time we come to a decision we must make a choice which can lead to change and taking a chance.

Looking back one of the biggest chances I took was with my husband, we had been married early at 18 & 19, we had been married for 3 years when we decided to build our own house, we were not builders, we had never built anything before, we did not know builders but we didn’t have any money and we were determined to make it happen.  We were living in a caravan and continued to live in it for the next 2 years. We both worked full time and came home and worked in the evenings and weekends building our house.  My husband using a shovel dug out our footings, I became a dab hand at mixing mortar, carrying bricks, setting string lines, scraping and cleaning the bricks and doing whatever I could to save on labour costs.

Our house rose slowly as we maxed out our $2000 credit card, paid it down and then bought more materials on it.  We finally had to borrow money when we reached the roof $20,000 but we did it! We had designed and built our own home.

The only thing we had going for us from the beginning was blind faith that we could do it and a willingness to work at it.

Our chance (although we didn’t think of it like that) had worked out for us





Time for a clean out

As I look around my life I notice that clutter has insiduously crept in to take up residence.  Clutter in my home, clutter in my work and clutter in my mind.  Visually and mentally I feel overwhelmed, it’s an uphill battle to get the enthusiasm to change it.  I want to change but obviously not enough if I’m still wallowing in it!

Today I put into words a promise to myself that I am going to make that change, time for a clean out, a fresh perspective and the chance to accomplish something. 

Got to go, no more time to write, it’s time to do.





Only Sixteen


Daily Prompt: Only Sixteen

Tell us all about the person you were when you were sixteen.

At sixteen I felt old, liked I had lived a thousand lives already.  I was the oldest of 6 children with the youngest 5 years old.  I was the little mother, looking after my siblings and I took life seriously.  I suffered from low esteem, puberty seemed to have missed me and I so wanted to be like the other girls my age.

I had a chance to escape my life, a life that had dark undertones, secrets that were never spoken of, my aunt had me stay with her for 2 weeks, it was wonderful, no shadow hanging over me, a chance to be young and happy, those two weeks were a special time in my life, I was offered a life I never could of imagined and yet I returned to my family knowing that nothing had really changed at home except the way I felt. I had a dream that was the cause of my return, it was a dream of love, love for my brother and sisters, a dream that showed me that I would protect them with everything I had in me.  I couldn’t let them down.

How would I sum up being sixteen?  The decision to return home showed me I had some control over my life, that family was important to me and that we could get through anything so long as we had each other.




Here goes nothing!


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My whole life has been about low self-esteem, I struggle to put into words my thoughts and opinions simply because I think they have no value, that no one is interested in what I feel or think. This year I am determined to change that, I don’t want to feel like I am invisible that I am nothing anymore. I want to feel I have value in this world.

Writing these words I feel so scared, the opinion of others validates my life, I live for approval from strangers. I feel so isolated, locked within my own prison.

Self Imposed Prison

Self Imposed Prison

I hope that writing about my thoughts and opinions will give me the confidence to be more open, to just get out there in life and if I fall, not to take it so personally, to pick myself up and say I have learned and I am stronger for it.

I turn 53 next week, looking back on my life it has had many twists and turns, the adage “truth is stranger than fiction” resonates strongly. Does anyone have a picture perfect vanilla life, where there is no drama, no tragedy, where everything just seems to fall into a natural order? What is normal? The realization is coming to me that there is no “normal” it is a broad term that covers only a small part of who a person is. Perhaps unique is more relevant to us, each and every one of us is a special blend. Maybe this is my lesson to see myself as unique like everyone else, no better, no worse just me.

Feel free to leave your thoughts, any advice or sharing you can give is appreciated, it would be nice to know that I am not alone with my insecurities.